A while ago a friend shared a TED talk about charitable organizations. It’s definitely worth watching and makes some excellent points about how charities are at a disadvantage because they are not allowed to operate like for-profit businesses. It makes sense, at the end of the day the point of a successful for-profit org is to make money so it stands to reason that if a charity was allowed to run the same way they’d also make money (in this case, profit that would go to the charity). The biggest challenge for this idea is our social mind set, that any donated money should go directly to the needy and not towards growth, marketing, salaries and so on and so forth. Changing a collective social opinion is a difficult task but it has to start somewhere.
Personally I have another bone to pick when it comes to the charity mind set, one that was not covered in the video and that I don’t hear too many people talk about. Maybe they haven’t come across this particular issue. Maybe they don’t think it is an issue. Either way, my charity-pet-peeve is that in our society volunteering seems to be regarded as better than just donating money and that pisses me off because personally I prefer to donate money and in a lot of ways that’s better.
When people volunteer at a charity or for charity, that seems to be something you can include on your resume as an achievement. Students are required to complete 40 hours of volunteer work in order to be allowed to finish high-school and in a world where everyone is so busy, giving up your time to help someone else seems to be the ultimate sacrifice while giving money seems to be the “easy” way out. Don’t get me wrong, volunteering is great (especially if you volunteer services that you actually are good at) but so are donations.
Last year I gave approximately $400 to charity. It takes me about 2-3 days of work to make that money. So as far as I am concerned, I worked for free for half a week to help others – essentially I volunteered, I just did it at work doing what I know how to do instead of smugly congratulating myself on giving up a weekend to fumble around doing tasks I have no business attempting. When we force students to volunteer their time in order to teach them about community and grow their character by giving selflessly to others, why don’t we give them the option of instead working at their regular part time job for free for the same number of hours and giving their paycheck from those days to charity? If working for free on behalf of others builds character, then this option should achieve the same thing.
From my personal experience volunteers don’t always have the same kind of work ethic and requirement for quality as paid workers do. And since they are volunteers you basically have to take everyone and you can’t really fire them for doing a sub-par job.
The way I see it, there are two types of volunteer work. The first type are volunteers whose job it is to encourage donations. These are the people who hand out water at charity runs or sit at the sign-up table. Their work isn’t meant to directly benefit the charity, it is meant to allow others (the participants of the event) to donate money. You might say, someone has to do it and it isn’t something we’d want to pay for. And I agree with you, volunteers are great for those jobs. However, those volunteers are only good as long as there are people willing to donate money in order to participate in the event. If, however, there is someone who donates money but does not participate in the event OR volunteer at it, does that make their contribution any smaller? I would argue that in a way their contribution was actually bigger because it all goes directly to the charity and they aren’t taking up resources by participating in the event. However, it isn’t socially accepted to brag about donating $50 to cancer research like it is about volunteering your Saturday or running the 10K.
I volunteered for these kinds of events a couple of times in my life (3 to be exact). The last time I was, in fact, in charge of one of the three water stations that gave water out to runners and walkers as they passed by. The experience was frustrating and disorganized. First of all, I found that many of the volunteers walked around like proud peacocks for just being there and since everyone is equal, they didn’t want to listen to instructions. Most of them ended up doing whatever they wanted and we ended up opening way more water than was needed and a lot of it went to waste. We were the first water station so we were done pretty early in the process. Since these volunteers’ job was handing out water, most of them left as soon as that portion was over. No matter that someone had to take the unused water back and take down the tables and tent. Let some other volunteers deal with that. Of course all the volunteers that day were important to the event and to raising the money we did but without those willing to donate actual money none of that work matters, so those who donated in bills instead of in hours should be just as proud of themselves and respected by the rest of us.
The other type of volunteer work, which would greatly benefit from people donating their actual money instead of their time, is work meant to benefit the actual people using the charity. The reason this work, a lot of the time is bullshit, is because the volunteers are inexperienced, usually lack equipment and organization. They take a lot longer to do something than a professional, in a much sloppier way. I would argue that if the charity can’t get a professional to donate their time for free, as a society we should encourage people to donate in order to hire professionals. A couple years ago a group of coworkers and I went to paint a house that will be used by domestic abuse victims getting back on their feet (this is part of the Yellow Brick House charity which I think is a great cause). We showed up with a mish-mash of equipment and experience, from the “I’ve never painted before” to the “I have everything because I painted my entire house”. When we were done the house looked only marginally better than when we started. There were paint smears on the floors and ceilings from lack of drop cloths that no one had. Many of the small nooks and crannies didn’t get proper coverage because we didn’t have paint brushes small enough but the worst one was that we didn’t have ladders and rollers to reach all the way to the top of the walls along the stairs, which was 2-stories high. We did the best we could but at the end the paint only covered two thirds of the way up those walls (and some of the volunteers were dangerously and precariously balanced on the inadequate ladders we did have trying to reach as high as possible which could have ended in disaster). Once again there was lack of organization because everyone who had an opinion did things their way so the quality was inconsistent, some doors were painted, some weren’t. Some rooms had straight lines because we used tape, some didn’t. As far as I’m concerned it was a mess. I would not find that kind of paint job in a home that I was to live in acceptable. I’m not knocking the volunteers, we all worked very hard but that alone was not enough to guarantee doing a good job. Of course we were told that we did good and we should be proud. But to this day I feel that if every one of us had instead donated that one day’s paycheck in order to hire a professional painter, they’d be able to do the job better, quicker and with fewer fumes inhaled.
Ideally for these kinds of cases we would get people to volunteer who know what they’re doing – match up a painter with a painting project and a contractor with a building project and a software engineer with an IT project. But most of the time that is not the case, most of the time the volunteers are not experienced and are doing the work for the first time with little supervision and sub-standard quality requirements. I’m not saying that’s always the case, but when it is, maybe we should see donating money just as prestigious as donating time.
It’s been a long time since my last post. I have a good reason though, I promise. I’ve been busy being pregnant, just over four months now. This post however is not about my pregnancy (there are plenty of other blogs out there about that).
For the family day long weekend we decided to go to Ottawa to visit friends. We were going to spend one day skiing in Tremblant. As you may remember, I don’t ski, so I wanted to find something else to do. I said so to our friends and we started looking into it. A couple days later, this is the email I received from my friend:
Tremblant
“So I realized I never reacted to your idea about the dogsledding. I just looked it up, and unfortunately they say it’s “not suitable for pregnant women.” Now, I don’t know if this is for liability reasons, but I’m guessing if they know (that you’re pregnant) then they may actually refuse to let you do it. I don’t know. I also looked into the spa, but the Scandinavian spa that has the “hot springs” type pools says its “not suitable for pregnant women.” They have another spa that does pedicures, although they charge $77 and you need to reserve 2 days in advance. They ALSO say “not suitable for pregnant women” so I called them and I was like, what the hell? (Well, not literally, but you get the gist.) They explained that with a pedicure, for example, it’s the risk of infection (hepatitis and whatever). And I was like, uh, that’s a concern for a non-pregnant woman as well. So she was like, of course, but as a pregnant woman you wouldn’t want to get those infections. I was like, well, neither would I and I’m not pregnant. So basically it’s up to you if you want to ‘take the risk’ as they said. There’s also snowshoeing, if you want to do something outside that you’re really, really unlikely to get hurt from, lol. That one actually doesn’t have a warning that it’s not suitable for pregnant women! What a shock! ”
I recently rediscovered just how much it sucks to wake up before sunrise. It seems so unnatural to be getting up for work when there is no light streaming from the windows. And it seems so weird to drive to work and watch the sunrise.
When I used to work in Winners while in school, one of the things I did was “cash office” on the weekends. I used to love these shifts because I could wear jeans, I didn’t have to talk to anyone, especially customers, and my shift was usually over by 1pm which gave me time to enjoy my weekend despite having to work. The only problem was I had to already be at work at 7am.
In the early fall and late spring the sun would be rising when I would be driving to work. In the short-day months the sun wouldn’t even be out yet when I went in the store. I would see daylight for the first time on those days when I would leave work at 1pm.
It wasn’t a big deal, usually I would be sleep deprived and sometimes hung-over so I wasn’t surprised that I was tired and sleepy during those shifts. I was just happy that I didn’t have to talk to people.
Over the years, I have had occasion to get up early. But as much as possible I try to avoid it. Saying that I am not a morning person is an understatement. I am not so much mean as I am just out of it and operate on autopilot. When someone does try to snap me out of it, I snap back. Literally.
With all that you may be surprised to find that I’ve been voluntarily getting up at 7am this entire week. It might not seem early to some of you. In fact, in theory it doesn’t seem that early to me. Until I remember that it’s an hour and a half earlier than I am used to waking up. We are having a charity drive at work and my team decided on selling “continental breakfast” items to raise money. And I volunteered to set out the food in the mornings.
The first day was ok, I thought “maybe this is my chance to get used to waking up earlier and coming in earlier”. But now, 4 days later, I realized that I would need to overhaul my entire life if I keep this up. Not to mention I’d need a major attitude adjustment regarding getting up when it’s dark out. My life is arranged around getting to work late and staying late. I don’t expect to get home before 7pm on most days. Any appointments I make after work are after 6:30. So this entire week when I came in early and should have been leaving at 5pm, I found myself still at work until my usual leaving time because the idea of rush hour traffic or only coming home for a half hour before I have to go somewhere didn’t make sense.
So until such a life overhaul is thrust on me, I will continue to enjoy sleeping in, getting up when the sun is shining and driving home after everyone else is long gone.
I find that I officially reached the age now where my friends and colleagues actually use phrases like “I worry about the next generation” and “I can’t believe how spoiled kids are nowadays”. Maybe I am an optimist but I have to call bullshit. I’d like to think that for the most part the next generation will grow up into responsible, considerate and conscientious adults. Just like us*.
We’ve all met teens and preteens that make us think that kids nowadays are stupid, and more importantly stupidER than we were at that age. I would argue that most of us do not make that observation objectively. I would argue that in at least some cases we actually WERE that stupid but at the time we didn’t think so. Now we still remember ourselves as having been smart. I bet that if most of us met teenage ourselves now without knowing that these are teenage us, we would find that we were the same obnoxious smart asses back then that annoy us in malls and movie theaters now.
That being said, I am fully aware that there are plenty of teens and preteens out there that probably are stupider and more annoying that we ever were. But if you think about it, chances are that even when you were a teen there were plenty of stupider and annoying teens around you. And on occasion I bet every one of us acted stupider than we actually were. Try to remember your high school and instead of thinking of your group of friends, think about all the people who you weren’t friends with and that you potentially looked down on. Were they annoying? stupid? did they skip class to get high in the parking lot? Did they brag about stealing? Thinking back to myself in high school and my friends, I’d like to think that I was a fairly responsible and smart teen. I had good grades, a part time job, I didn’t do drugs. Did I skip classes? Did I ever take advantage and call in sick to work because my friends were going to a party on Friday night? Did I ever stay up all night getting drunk at 18 years old at a house party (I hope the statute of limitations for underage drinking should be up by now)? Did I have stupid pointless discussions with my friends judging other girls? I must admit that the answer to all these questions is yes. And I am sure that adults who saw me on these occasions when I was acting like an inconsiderate immature teenager thought to themselves “the future of our society is doomed”. Somehow, we all grew up and we’re now brushing elbows with the same people who thought we were twits and dumb asses.
As for the world being doomed, I think there has not been a generation in the history of humanity that didn’t think the next generation is somehow inferior. I imagine caveman-hunter-and-gatherer grandparents shaking their heads at the latest generation’s lack of work ethics when it came to spear sharpening and basket weaving (I assume they weaved baskets for all the gathering they had to do but really paleolithic anthropology is not exactly my forte). If all of these generations were right, our society would never become what it is today. Stands to reason that even if we’re not getting better with each generation we are at least not getting worse. We’re just changing the measuring stick. I feel that we are more aware than ever when it comes to human rights and social responsibility. As a society we’re freer, richer, more educated and better traveled than we have ever been in the past. We must be doing something right.
* unfortunately not all of us have matured into responsible, considerate conscientious adults. I am fully aware that this was the case in past generations and will be so in future generations.
When we were in Scotland we went to a “Chippy”, which is what the locals call a fish and chips shop according to one of the tourism guide books we had with us. Don’t know how reliable that information is.
This particular Chippy was in Fort Augustus, a little tiny shop with no seats but great fish and chips called Canalside chip shop. Aside from good food (Greg really enjoyed the “white pudding” there as well) they seemed to have a sense of humour based on these signs that hung next to the menu on the wall
“So I’m the white guy in Israel…” is how Greg begins this story, despite my many corrections over the past few years that there are in fact many white people in Israel. It used to help him emphasize his point but now I feel he just says that to be funny and politically incorrect and to get an eye roll out of me. This is a story we retell time and time again when people ask Greg how he liked being a tourist in Israel for the first time. For me this is the perfect example of the many cultural differences we encountered that I wouldn’t even have noticed (having grown up with them) if Greg wasn’t there to act shocked.
Our first evening at the dead sea we were tired. There was a lot of driving and of course it was hot. Plus the hotel made our brains hurt, so when we finally made it to the room I crashed on the bed to go to sleep almost immediately. Greg was on his computer, sending a daily email that he’s still alive to his over-exaggerating friends and family who were worried that if they don’t hear from him for one day it means he stepped onto a bus with a bomb on it.
In the middle of him writing to let people know that everything is safe and quiet he suddenly heard a loud noise outside, BANG BANG BANG!!! He all but jumped out of his chair turned on me yelling “What was that?!!” I was almost asleep at this point and didn’t even register the sounds “I’m sure it’s nothing” I said. “Nothing? How can it be nothing? It sounds like gun shots and we’re in Israel!” He was freaking out. I could tell by how he was finishing his statements with “we’re in Israel” like that is a perfectly good explanation for flipping out over some popping sounds. I kept telling him that these aren’t gunshots or anything else, I just wanted to go back to sleep. “How can you be so sure that it’s nothing?” he asked. Wanting to reassure him once and for all I said “Because if there was anything dangerous there would be an alarm and we’d all go to the bomb shelter…”
“THERE IS A BOMB SHELTER?!?!”
Greg’s reaction to this news told me that he wasn’t feeling any safer. It turns out that telling a tourist in Israel (or the “white guy” in Israel) that there is a bomb shelter is not as reassuring as I thought it would be. I tried to explain that it’s a precaution and that most buildings have them. I even told him where the bomb shelter was – we saw it on the way to our room. Or at least I did.
It turned out that there was a large camping party nearby and some kids were playing with cap guns. The rest of the night was uneventful, Greg finished his emails and ranted for a bit on how toys that make gun-shot noises shouldn’t be allowed in Israel. Don’t tell him I said this, but I think he almost peed his pants. He spent the rest of the trip looking to bomb shelters in every building we entered.
I recently wrote a guest-piece for my brother’s passion4dancing blog. I feel like a celebrity having my work appear elsewhere with credit and everything (even if it is within the family).
The article talks about my own reasons for taking dance lessons and making sure that these reasons were the focus of our activity. As with anything, learning to dance is not done in a vacuum and taking dance classes taught me a lot that is applicable to many aspects of life. Being self-aware of the reasons why I want to or don’t want to do something is one of those life lessons. Even though our reasons may not have been very noble or traditional, I think we would have suffered if we weren’t honest with ourselves and our teacher about why we were there. Next time you aren’t sure you’re getting everything out of an activity, ask yourself why you are doing it in the first place. And read my whole entry here.
Watch this as Rev Jesse Lee Peterson blames women for everything wrong with the world. Watch the whole thing – when I started watching I was like how much worse can it get and then around the 8 minute 40 second mark I did a dry spit take, luckily I wasn’t drinking water at the time.
I don’t even know how someone like him managed to get on TV since the world has gone to hell now that women have the power. I don’t know if this is sad or funny because of how stupid it is, but it is most definitely outrageous.
First of all, whether you agree or disagree with the government paying for birth control, having sex takes two people. For every time that a woman is having sex “out-of-wedlock” and being a “slut”, there is a man who is equally participating in this. At least the reverend stopped short of blaming women for raping men and having sex against their will.
Of course I am absolutely appalled that this guy actually says the things he says and that there are people out there who listen and take him seriously. He rants about not having freedom of speech? The fact that he can spew such garbage and live to interview about it proves him wrong.
His speech is yet another example of people using religion and God to justify their own ignorance and hate. Anyone who claims to believe in God as an almighty being and in the same breath can claim that they know what God wants or what God intends is full of crap. There is no grand plan, all we can do is roll with the punches and try to find happiness in life. In today’s society more people have not only the right but also the ability and opportunity to look for happiness then ever before, including men and women of all races and sexual orientation. If that isn’t progress I don’t know what is.
All the usual sexist and bigoted things aside (and historically inaccurate. Do some research, homosexuality has been a well documented part of western society well before women were given the right to vote) the thing that shocked me the most is that according to this speech he doesn’t seem to think that women belong in the home or the kitchen either. Most men who rant against women voting just want their wives to make them a hot meal when they get home from screwing the secretary. The reverend seems to think that women don’t belong at all. Not only should they not vote or be in power but they can’t be trusted with their families because they poison them and have no love in their hearts. Where does that leave us? Should women be locked up in a barn just for breeding and giving milk and let men take care of everything from raising the family to running businesses? And am I the only one who sees the irony that a lot of his arguments are the same ones that are used by racists?
Now I have never claimed to be a feminist. I don’t think women are better then men. In fact I will be happy if the day ever comes when we stop trying to assign qualities to people based on their gender and just accept that some people have some qualities that other people don’t have. This kind of stupid ignorant speech hurts not only women but it hurts men just as much. Saying that men cannot control women, that they are scared and intimidated of them, that women are ruining everything from family to government is also saying that men are spineless, easily manipulated and weak. Men, just as much as women, should be standing up for themselves and fighting against this kind of closed minded thinking. Something that Sean Hannity failed to do, thus appearing every bit the coward Peterson was describing.
The line between young adult fiction and adult fiction gets blurrier with every hobbit and wizard. Sci-fi and fantasy intended for teens is growing with them as they enter adulthood. This seems to be true for movies and books alike. Movies like Back to the Future and The Princes Bride have become classics instead of fading away into obscurity as the teens who first watched them grew up. Books like The Hobbit and Harry Potter and even my favourite, Anne of Green Gables, are being read and reread by grownups all over the world. Just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean you’ve stopped using your imagination. A good story captivates you again and again at every age. No matter the intended audience, a well written book and a well created new world can entice any reader into wanting to find out more. Good young adult fiction can shape an entire generation.
I am happy to report that a very smart and talented young adult sci-fi writer is emerging. Be a trend setter, check out her blog!
When my dad started planning his speech for my wedding he tried doing some research online but Google did not come up with too many good “father of the bride speech” results. I told him that “no one cares because everyone knows speeches are boring”. I should have known that my dad would take that as a challenge, after all he loves giving and hearing speeches. If he was going to do a speech, he would make it the best father of the bride speech anyone has ever heard. It was a hit, everyone at the wedding loved it – they laughed and awwwwed in all the right places. Whether you want to read it again for entertainment or if you stumbled here while doing research for your own father of the bride speech, enjoy.
P.S. Notice that my dad even managed to work the word “synergy” into his father of the bride speech for my benefit – he knew he would get an eye roll for that.
I am sure most of you remember one of my favourite family movies is “Father of the bride”. Steve Martin did an amazing job. I always had fun watching him in this movie until I realized that it is not so funny because one day I would be in his shoes, playing ‘Father of the bride’ in real life. And here I am.
Ladies and Gentlemen! My name is Vlad in case if somebody doesn’t know me, I am Diana’s Dad and the proudest father of the bride! I am here tonight on behalf of my lovely wife, Ludmila and our family. I would like to take this opportunity and thank all of you for coming to celebrate with us this joyful moment in our life. Some of you came from far away. We are very glad to be with our close friends and relatives. It was especially a real pleasure to meet and greet Greg’s relatives and friends. Thank you all!
When I started thinking about my speech few months ago, Diana was very encouraging. She told me that speeches are the most boring part of the wedding. So, I tried to be concise and managed to squeeze all my material into only one hour. Introduction doesn’t count by the way.
In our family we were so much attached to each other, that it was almost a nightmare to imagine one day my little girl leaving our home with somebody else. But two things helped. First of all we liked Greg from day one! I remember him as a nice, modest young fellow. All he liked was a good steak and computers. He was so busy playing and fixing other people’s gadgets that at one point in time Diana almost got for him this t-shirt with the phrase ‘No, I will not fix your computer’. Another good thing and benefit for us was that we were given enough time to digest the news – a full 7 years! This really helped. Many things changed since then. Diana and Greg got mature, so did their relationship. And by the way, Greg, thank you very much for fixing our computer, GPS and ice maker!
Dear Greg and Diana!
I would like to congratulate you with making the most important decision in your life. You decided to share your lives and go together through good times and not so great times. This is only the beginning of your journey and your life will be full of memories and excitements. Growing up, Diana was a very excited person. She always had many different ideas in her mind and one of her ideas was to become an astronaut. When she was a teenager, together with her high school friend, they even purchased properties on the moon. We hope that real estate on the moon is still hot and one day we may open a ski resort there. Diana didn’t become an astronaut yet, but she rides a rollercoaster with no fear. So, as you see, Greg, you will have a lot of adventures in your life. Along with few differences in your personalities which will bring synergy to your family, you have many things in common. I am very proud that both of you have many great values, which help you to have so many good friends. You are young, you love each other, you have passion for what you do, you live in the best country and I am confident that your union is built to last with great future ahead. I would like to wish you a lifetime of love, happiness and grandchildren… for us. Gorko!
Unfortunately we never had a chance to meet Greg’s mother. She would be very proud of you Greg today. We appreciate very much that she raised such a wonderful son. Greg, we have known you for a long time now. And even though our family is a little crazy, we are glad that you still want to be part of it. I am sure you won’t regret it!
Guys, it doesn’t matter how old you are, how many children you have, which position you hold and how much money you make, you will be always children for us and we will always love you!
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